Also the ship is now infested with papercraft beef jerky monsters because polygon graphics haven't quite shaken off the pubescent bum-fluff by the point. We're assigned to an experimental FTL ship exploring a distant galaxy, but wake up in a fridge and can't remember why. In System Shock 2, we play a random Johnny about whom all we know going in is that they're a bit tasty in a fight, in what would become the grand tradition of Ken Levine games with 'Shock' in the name. Well, the sequel to how that all began anyway, but playing System Shock 1 was like trying to pilot a helicopter with your head stuck in a Commodore 64, so personally I don't count it. And it seems Steam agrees, 'cause it finally released System Shock 2 the other day, and while we're still muttering about the Bioshocks and the Bioshock Infinites and the Biotoxicshocksyndromes, we've a timely enough gap in new releases to look back on how that all began. With a new console generation coming up like a cloud of eldritch black vapour on the horizon, this is turning into the ideal time to reminisce the fuck out of retro PC gaming. Lately however, I've been feeling like it's time to start inching my bum back again, 'cause I've just noticed a smelly tramp sitting on the console end of the bench with a Kinect lodged in his forehead, and he keeps muttering the word 'preowned' and stabbing himself in the hand with a tin opener.

So I eventually had to inch my bum along to the console end of the bench of gaming for the sake of playing processor-intensive games without having to microwave my keyboard hand. You know, I used to PC game a lot more than I do now, but that was back before I mainly used laptops. This week, Zero Punctuation reviews System Shock 2.

System shock 2 weapon degradation